Blonde Ice Fishing
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the right tools, she headed toward the nearest frozen lake. After getting comfy on her stool she started to cut a circular hole in the ice. Then from the heavens a voice boomed, ”THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.” Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate and started to cut yet another hole in the ice. The voice boomed, ”THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.” This time quite scared, the blonde moved to the far end of the ice. Then she started another hole and once again the voice said, ”THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.” The very scared blonde raised her head and said, ”Is that you, Lord?” The voice answered, ”NO. IT IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK.”
Ice fishing Boy
It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn’t believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. But, shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn’t take it any longer. “Son, I’ve been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You’ve been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?” The boy responded, “Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm.” “What was that?” the old man asked. Again the boy responded, “Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm.” “Look,” said the old man, “I can’t understand a word you’re saying.” The boy spit the bait into his hand and said… “You have to keep the worms warm!” (DOH!)
Minus 30 degrees
In January 1994, at the Lake Como Fish and Game Club near Syracuse, N.Y., Brian Carr beat out three dozen competitors in the annual ice-fishing derby, with 155 catches. The temperature that day was minus 30, and the prize money for the top three anglers was $8, $6.50, and $5.
Trolling
Two morons were ice fishing and not having much luck. Pretty soon a guy went by on a snow mobile and he had a whole bucket of fish on the back. One moron says to the other one “That’s why were not catching anything ,we’re not trolling!”
Love V Fishing
Why fishing is better than making love:
* When you go fishing and you catch something, that’s good.
If you’re making love and you catch something, that’s bad.
* Fish don’t compare you to other fishermen neither.
And don’t want to know how many other fish you caught.
* In fishing you lie about the one that got away.
In loving you lie about the one you caught.
* You can catch and release a fish, you don’t have to lie, and promise to
still be friends after you let it go.
* You don’t necessarily have to change your line to keep catching fish.
* You can catch a fish on a 20-cent frozen squid.
If you want to catch a woman you’re talking dinner and a movie minimum.
* Fish don’t mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.